Why Cats Are Superior to Humans
Cats (Felis Catus)
Humans (Homo Sapiens)
Agility
Agility

~Need we say more?

~Try and Catch ‘Em!

Brain Power
Brain Power
Use maximum neurological capacity!

Excessive vascular presence fosters dangerous environment for hemorrhages and clots!

 

Anatomy
Anatomy
Four Legs...and feet that act as hands!
Only 2 legs and vulnerable vertebrae design!
Psychology
Psychology

Satisfied with the simple pleasures!

In constant turmoil and need for self-affirming exercises. Litigious activity costs billions that could be better spent on cat toys!

Social Dynamics
Social Dynamics

Content with being alone or the occasional Skirmish with the next door neighbor

Tend to congregate in large groups waving their arms in senseless displays of hysteria.

Spirituality
Spirituality
“and no religion too”

violent video games! Supplicate to peaceful, imaginary entities while worshipping

Environmental Impact
Environmental Impact

A natural deterrent to unsightly creatures!

 

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Cosmetic Attributes
Cosmetic Attributes

Coated with luxuriant epidermal pelage. Beautifully contoured, purrfect shnozzolas…every last one of ‘em!

Come with spotty splots of body hair… Obsessed with muscle makeup. Known to savage parts of the body for vanity projects…Propensity for nose jobs!

Balance
Balance

Inclusion of tail offers exceptional aid toward ability to ‘walk the plank.’ In event of a fall, cat invariably lands on ‘all fours’ without a fuss or visit to the emergency room!

Vestigial tail bone indicates evolutionary error. Tendency to fall is marked by serious medical consequences especially in older specimens. Lack of tail probably accounts for billions of dollars in excessive hospital expenses!

Auditory Kinetics and Capacities
Auditory Kinetics and Capacities

Ability to move ears independently in circular motions well over 180 degrees. Can hear just about anything and everything, with ranges far beyond the human threshold!

Ear wiggling relegated to tricksters and clowns. Loses ability to hear higher frequencies beginning in young adulthood… problem particularly prevalent in male homo sapiens!

Sanitation
Sanitation

Wondrous ability to swing back leg behind neck and twist head toward anal cavity. Exceptional sandpaper ‘papillae’ tongue enables the cleansing of fecal and other excreta with no environmental impact!

Inability to lick one’s own arse leads to habitual use of paper products for that ‘soft swipe’…subjecting the earth to devastating deforestation. Compulsive need to shower and bathe compromises water supply. Known to litter streets, parks and even beaches with vast quantities of rubbish and trash!

Clothes???
What's
That???

< The Winner!
~by unanimous decision~