As some of you might know, I have put a good deal of energy into writing about various topics, trying to get a handle on just what makes this world so violent and what we can do about it. Recently, I have written articles and letters concerning the nature of war, only to find myself still bewildered, bewitched and bothered by the chronic and dismal proclivity that the human race demonstrates for self-destruction. Despite centuries of far finer minds than mine dwelling on this quagmire, volumes of literature, peace movements, marches and protest songs, we still seem intent, in one way or another, on blowing each other to smithereens.
This sorry state of affairs has led me to the conclusion that something truly radical must be enacted before it is too late. Now to be honest here, I am no more inclined to join the special forces or an air campaign than, dare I say, 99% of the population. The least I can do is help us play our part in bringing all war, to a definitive end. That is why I am hereby convening:
Let’s face it. Cowards are in more than ample supply. In America and across Europe, hundreds of thousands of people demonstrate for “peace.” They don’t want to get their pretty little cowardly mitts messed up fighting useless wars against tyrants and despots who are clearly a lot less likely to respond to subpoenas and “International Law” than they are to missiles and bombs.
The most The United Nations can come up with is a “peace keeping force.” Even as I write, the U.N. is unable to implement cease fires in a myriad of combat zones across the globe. The United Nations of Cowards is a more apt description of these impotent diplomats and the organization surely constitutes the greatest collection of ambassadorial lily livereds the world has ever known. And let’s not forget our perennial representatives of “neutrality”…the Swiss. Although their citizens are armed by the government with assault rifles, the probability of the Swiss declaring war is as likely as Mitch McConnell retiring from politics. Essentially Switzerland is a nation of declared cowards, in the name of perennial neutrality, while providing fighting forces around the world with an unending supply of chocolate.
Religions are by their very nature, cowardly. All are based on prostrating before some unverifiable “higher force.” The number of cowards we can recruit from this source is staggering and would put our movement “over the top” in terms of total numbers, in no time at all. Even atheists and agnostics are cowards. Their convictions are all negative or of the “don’t know” variety. One could say, and I am saying, that they don’t have the courage to believe, and therefore they are cowards!…and there are plenty of them, lurking in and around our daily lives. Druggies, thieves, whores, communists…they’re all afraid to live a decent, upstanding god-fearin’ life and are, therefore, cowards!
Last, but not least, the fairer sex, though demonstrating greater endurance for various activities, are for all military purposes, cowards. Let’s be real here. Women are generally not prone to getting down and dirty in the trenches and it’s hard to imagine them charging with a bayonet. This is, of course, a good thing for the pure preponderance of them (women) on earth gives our movement an overwhelming advantage
Obviously, cowards are the greatest hidden treasure that our “liberation” cultures have yet to liberate. In effect, cowards are the conduit, if not the actual embodiment of ‘peace’ itself. I would venture that we outnumber the opposition by a ratio of well over 1000:1, and studies indicate that the gap is widening geometrically every day. It is only a matter of time before we finally take over and rule the world once and for all!
Other issues and workshops to be conducted at our convention include:
And our feature workshop:
Please submit any other ideas for our upcoming convention… to be held May 1 st 2021, at the City Hall in Berkeley, California.
Our Motto: “Divided We Cower…United, We Also Cower”
© 4/20/21 Marc Twang