The Great Inter-Galactic Place Kick

~A simple spiritual prophecy~

Once upon an eon there was a simple sphere that seemed to have a sense of destiny, as if it wanted to go somewhere and “be somebody.” It was no wonder though. The sphere suspended in a great void of nothingness did not spin, nor roll, nor move at all: T’was quite inanimate, or so it seemed. After all, who could tell what it did, or could be. Out there in the vastness of the void there was nothing to relate it to.

One day, or shall we say one digital moment, an infinite force came upon the sphere, considered its predicament and concluded that surely the universe would be better off that this sphere be in the company of similar structures in a space where it might (as the sphere had hoped) come to something, bear fruit and become fulfilled. So, with almost effortless, but studied abandon, this infinite force placed its infinite foot onto our simple sphere and gave it a great kick.

The sphere, awed by its new-born motion sped elatedly from galaxy to galaxy for what seemed like an eternity, but was, in fact, only several billion light years, finally nestling itself between spheres of cold red rock and molten dream-like vapors. As it threw off its excess baggage (which was rumored to consist of a large quantity of green cheese) it went into a frenzied spin, all the while moving in a perpetual pattern around a great fire. Surveying its reborn relativity it began frolicking with revolutionary reverie.

Meanwhile the infinite force, in all its wisdom returned to its various and sundry duties sweeping up stardust, plunging in and out of black holes, etc. But even the force was intrigued by the possibilities for the newly spaced sphere and looked forward to returning and reviewing the results of this grand endeavor.

As it turns out, by the calendar of our simple sphere, this visitation came to be in the vicinity of its twenty-first century. Now the great force, not merely a servant of its cosmological logistics, takes great pride in its ability as a universal athlete, of sorts. And so it was with some concern that the force returned to pass judgment on the accuracy of this inter-galactic place-kick.

Satisfied that the sphere was perfectly placed, the great force proceeded to peruse in more detail the nature of the wondrous gifts bestowed upon our perfectly placed sphere. Well, from a distance things seemed in order...breathtakingly beautiful, as a matter of fact. Whirling winds burst through great patches of blue ensconced in brilliant golden light streaking every which way.

Yet, as the force approached more closely it became, shall we say, disenchanted. As a matter of fact, it was almost blown out of time and space by pointless explosions seeming to emanate with great ubiquity from our simple sphere. Urban areas were particularly abhorrent to the pristine sensibilities of the great force as it gagged with cosmic disgust.

The infinite force soon became understandably incensed and was about to literally kick the shit out of this senseless sphere when suddenly it remembered the pride it took in placing the sphere as precisely as it did. The force then took a deep breath (or whatever infinite forces do to calm themselves down) and proceeded to consider the fate of the hapless inhabitants who resided upon the experiment the great force had to admit, with infinite humility, appeared to have gone terribly wrong. So with universal, and in this case earthly empathy, the great force took it upon itself to forewarn the population (already out of control) of its finite destiny.

Information of all kinds transmitted at warp speed through the latest hysterical communication systems, suddenly and astonishingly developed after billions of years of technological inertia , were used to inform the residents of their excesses and violation of universal laws of physical equilibrium and sustainability. In a grand act of sympathy the great force flushed the sphere with an array of therapies, opiates, and useless treatments to temporarily allay the suffering and anxiety that came with the bombardment of information regarding the folly of their ways.

Realizing that their fate was sealed many on our simple minded sphere, already exhausted from digesting relentless packets of information respecting their imminent demise, actually relished the prospect of an end to their wretched ways. Others merely immersed themselves in the usual illusions of salvations that had taken a myriad of forms over many a millennium. A small number of astronomers and adventurers looked forward with demented anticipation to the thrill of being launched into the galactic unknown, aware of course, that consciousness was unlikely to survive more than a second or two of the initial acceleration out of gravity’s grasp.

And so it came to pass that the great force placed its infinite foot to our simple, senseless sphere... sending it past the speed of light, streaking from galaxy to galaxy until it floated effortlessly, to the far side of the big bang itself, into the primordial soup from whence and where it came, thus bringing back peace, harmonic convergence, and inter-stellar brotherhood to the red dwarfs, quasars, black holes, and the infinite, innocent elements now glistening happy ever after, in the vast void... for what reason the great force has yet, nor may ever reveal.

~Marc Twang


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